My husband Bobby was always against the idea of our two toddlers sharing a room. He’s afraid routines will get rocky.
We finally broke through to him during our vacation in Toronto in 2023. Our rental house couldn’t accommodate two toddlers having separate rooms.
The basement was too cold to let our younger one sleep in the pack-n-play. Bobby is a light sleeper. We tried having our youngest sleep with us in the master bedroom. It didn’t pan out.
So finally, we gave in and let them share a room. To our surprise, it turned out to be great. It seemed as though the kids felt more secure in a new environment together. The move actually helped our vacation routine.
4 months later, we had visitors stay with us. Easily, the arrangement was our two toddlers sharing a room. How did that go? Keep reading!
My Two Toddlers Sharing a Room
First couple days
Excitement – Trouble Falling Asleep
The two kids were so excited. Sarah, 2-and-a-half-years-old kept saying “I’m sleeping with my bro!” when we would start bedtime routines.
Sarah would talk to Noah, our 15-month-old, when we leave the room. Noah would “talk” back. Mostly making noises as he can only say a few words.
They would make each either laugh, bouncing around in their beds.
First night, we put Noah’s pack-n-play too close to the changing table. He pulled all the diapers out while Sarah died laughing — his solo audience of one.
Next night, we dragged him away from the changing table, and closer to Sarah’s crib. Then we found Sarah would try to reach Noah’s pack-n-play!! Luckily, she never fell out of her crib.
Noah would toss his lovey stuffed bear out of his pack-n-play, which again made Sarah hysterical laughing!
These would go on and on sometimes until 11 pm. Quite the change as these two normally fall asleep by 9pm or 9:15pm.
The positive side is the same banter occurs when they wake up, both from their naps or a whole nights sleep. They can stay in the room for an hour having all kinds of fun just staying in their own cribs separately.
Change of Routines
You can already tell, the routines were shaken as they both fall asleep much later. And due to this, they tended to wake up a littler later.
To make minimal impact, we kept the same schedule for regular naps and bed time. What we had to change is Noah’s nap timetable.
He had been having 2 naps. One in the morning from 10:30 to noon. One in the afternoon from 2:00 to 4:00pm.
Sarah is older. She is only napping from 1:30 to 4:00pm. So we had to change Noah’s nap schedule to match Sarah’s.
It was a little stretch. But he was doing ok. Our little man would struggle a bit around lunch — food helped to give him a boost.
Noah tends to fall asleep quickly whereas Sarah takes her time. So we would frequently notice Noah already asleep while big sister is carrying on a conversation, still trying to talk to him. But he typically just continued sleeping through her attempts. No impact at all!
This was the complete opposite upon waking up. Noah would be alert earlier than Sarah. He’d make noises. Sometimes waking up Sarah as she is a light sleeper.
Noah doesn’t require many activities to fall asleep, whereas Sarah needs to read books, bring lovey and stuffed animals to her crib, and sing a few songs.
So even though I am still doing the same process for Noah, he is watching Bobby doing a different process with Sarah. That tended to get him more excited rather than calm him down.
So putting Noah to bed with Sarah together got a little harder. Similar to Sarah, she would get distracted by Noah too.
Week two of my toddlers sharing a room
Excitement Cool Down
After sharing a room for a week they got used to the idea of sleeping together. It seems the excitement of it all goes down slightly as the days go on.
Even though they started falling asleep earlier, it’s still not as smooth as when sleeping separately in their own individual rooms.
They would still play with each other after mommy and daddy left the room, but could stop the shenanigans and get to sleep sooner than later.
New issues
Both of Sarah and Noah sleep really well at this point. But something happened after couple days into sharing a room with her little brother.
Sarah started crying after we would leave the room. Mostly happening during nap times. But week 2, she started crying during bedtime as well.
We tried to let her cry, but her cry was really bad and persistent. Through the baby monitor, we could hear that she was talking while crying.
She was actually calling Daddy. So Bobby went back into the room and gave her a hug, talked to her a little. She was able to calm down and sleep afterwards.
We normally just let her cry. But it seems like she’s into a new phase. Our strategy needs to shift to meet her new emotional development.
At the beginning, the cry really impact Noah’s sleep. But toward the end of week 2, Mr. Heavy Sleeper just slept through her cries.
Can’t wait to put them back to their own room
Was it fun to have the two toddlers sharing a room? Yes! It melted our hearts to see them having so much fun together.
However, both Bobby and I can’t wait to put them back into their own room and get back to their normal routines.
It has been really exhausting for parents. There were a few moments, both of them crying at the same time so loud! It was torture!!!
Sarah couldn’t stop talking to me as I was trying to keep Noah calm and sleepy. “Mommy, where is Noah? Mommy, can you sing? Mommy, Mommy, Mommy…”
Noah has a hard time keeping calm. He gets too excited to see Sarah doing all the things that he doesn’t do. He would move around and squirm like crazy as I struggle to hold him.
Sometimes his head would hit my chin, his arm would slam into my chest. I felt like I had been in a war after putting him down.
Benefits and Drawbacks of Toddler Sharing a Room
Benefits
Sibling Bonding – They had so much fun during bedtime together! Noah is very active if Sarah is around. Sarah keeps telling people she’s sleeping with Noah and she likes it.
Learning More for Younger Sibling – Just sharing the room for 2 weeks, Noah’s way more talkative. He learned more words from his sister. The downside, he also learned to say “NO” from his sister.
Space Saving – This is obvious. You can save one extra room for other uses, which is a big bonus.
Great for Vacation – First night of vacation, Sarah would always cry in a new room all by herself. A new place would wreck the routine at this young age. But siblings sharing a room gives them security. They feel safe with each other.
Drawbacks
Mess up the Bedtime Routine and Schedule – When your children have different bedtime routines, it can be challenging to share a room. Both of them had to adjust to each other. Falling asleep could be and issue, but over time, it improves.
Hard on Parents – Because of all the changes, it can be more difficult on parents as your kids are acting different from what you are used to — new unexpected challenges seem to pop up. We felt it’s harder than the normal routing of the kids having their own separate spaces.
Poor Sleep Quality – One child waking up at night crying affects another child’s sleep. Just like adults sleeping together, except when we wake up at night, we don’t cry!
Conclusion
It was a fun experience for our two toddlers to share a room. It’s nice to see how they love snoozing together — like a big sleepover party.
But at this age, they develop so fast. A few months apart has big differences on their growth. Due to this, sharing a room can be challenging.
They definitely don’t sleep as well as they were sleeping in their separate rooms. The overall amount of sleep both children got decreased, which led to some cranky evenings.
Would I do it again? Certainly yes! When we travel, in a new space, the toddlers sharing a room helps them to adapt and feel safe.
At home, I would wait until they are older to share a room for long stretches time — at an age when they are able to control themselves better at sleeping. Once they are both sleeping in big kid beds, or floor beds, or even bunk beds together the situation could become easier.
Since they are a girl and a boy, that is another added element. I would stop room sharing when my girl tell me she feels uncomfortable. If they were the same gender that might change my opinion.
