Welcome to the beautiful journey of motherhood, especially if you are (or you are going to) experiencing the delightful (and challenging) adventure of having 2 children under 2, or if you are considering having 2 under 2. It’s certainly a rollercoaster of joy, confusion, exhaustion, and unbounded love. The task might seem daunting, but I’m here to assure you, dear Mama, you’ve got this! Here’s my personal take on how you can navigate these beautiful waters successfully.
Managing Expectations
I had my first baby when I was 40. I knew I want another baby. It’s very easy to have a healthy baby if you try again immediately. That’s why I have 2 under 2. So I didn’t think too much of it. I knew it was going to be hard. But there were a lot of things I did not see it coming.
Everything is different from having the first baby, from pregnancy, to my experience at the hospital, and postpartum at home. Anticipate joy and chaos, bonds and tantrums, love and fatigue. You may not instantly connect with your newborn, and your firstborn may need time to adjust.
Before Second Baby Arrives
If your second baby has already arrived, you can skip this part.
Do you recall how during your first pregnancy, you were treated like royalty, lavished with attention, and had ample time to prepare for your newborn’s arrival? The second time around, especially with a 1-year-old, things can be drastically different!
No longer the sole focus of your spouse’s attention, you find yourself sharing it with your toddling firstborn. Your partner’s attention shifts naturally towards your young child, ensuring they are cared for amidst the anticipation of a new family member. Meanwhile, your own energy is divided between pregnancy and keeping up with your active toddler. It’s an entirely new dynamic, often leaving you feeling more fatigued.
The positive side is there isn’t much to prepare for the second baby. The experience with your firstborn is recent and vivid – knowledge of newborn care needs no refreshing. The baby gear you invested in is ready to serve again. All you need to shop for are diapers, wipes, and maybe clothing depending on the season and gender.
So cherish this fleeting time of having your toddler as an only child. Spend as much time as possible with her. Immerse yourself in the joy of quality moments with her, knowing such exclusivity will evolve once your newest addition graces your world.
It’s super helpful to get your toddler ready for their new sibling. One thing we did was read books about becoming a big sister or brother – they really helped paint a picture of what’s coming. And you know those baby dolls? Get one! They’re like a practice run for your toddler to understand how to treat a baby. It’s a fun and easy way to get them all warmed up for the real deal!
Considering Only One Night at Hospital
I had a great experience at the hospital with my firstborn. It was right in the middle of COVID times, so it was just my husband and me, no other visitors. My little one spent a night in the NICU for a small hiccup, and the nurses there were so fantastic that we let her stay an extra night. I felt rested and had some quality one-on-one time with my baby girl.
I was looking forward to the same experience with my second baby. But oh boy – how wrong was I! The biggest twist? I had to leave my toddler with someone else. Let me tell you, part of my heart was always back home. Was she okay? Was she missing me?
On top of that, my newborn was like a tiny alarm clock going off every hour on that second day. My toddler visited us a couple of times, and between that and the crying, I barely got a wink of sleep in the hospital. Here’s my advice, if everything’s alright health-wise, you might want to consider checking out after just one night. It might make things a bit easier!
Big Transition for Your Toddler, But Don’t Give-In
Imagine being the center of the universe one day, then bam – you’ve got to share the spotlight with a newborn sibling! That’s a massive shift for a toddler. They might get confused, maybe even a little mad at you. Be ready for some tantrums and regressions.
Before the new baby arrived, I’d worked magic with my little girl’s bedtime. She could drift off to sleep by herself, and I could tiptoe out of her room within 30 minutes, no tears at all. But let me tell you, once the baby came home, that went right out the window. There was a lot more crying, more tantrums I hadn’t seen before.
Hang in there!! These stormy moments will pass. Patience is key with your toddler! But don’t cave into their every whim. If they’re acting up, don’t give it attention. On the flip side, make a big deal out of their good behavior. Remember, those tantrums are your toddler’s way of getting attention. If you indulge them, it’ll only get worse. But trust me, all this chaos will pass eventually. We let our little princess cry it out when it was time for bed. It was heart-wrenching, sure, but after a couple of tear-filled nights, something shifted. Just like that, the crying stopped.
Spend Quality one-on-one time with your Toddler
Don’t forget, your toddler is still just a little one herself! It was only yesterday that she had your undivided attention, and now suddenly, she’s got to share you with a tiny new arrival. That’s a big adjustment for her. Make sure to carve out at least 10 minutes daily for some one-on-one time. You’ll both cherish these moments. It can even help ease those tantrums.
I’ve noticed my little girl blossoms when we play together while her baby brother naps. She simply adores having my full attention all to herself again, even if it’s just for a little while.
Involve Your Toddler
Get your toddler in on the baby action! Let them help out with little tasks here and there, whether it’s baby related or just an everyday chore. It turns out, kids see chores differently. They absolutely love ’em.
My little girl was thrilled to pick up the bottle to feed her tiny brother. Sure, her concept of being gentle is a little fuzzy, and she hasn’t quite got the hang of keeping the bottle steady yet, but her adoration for her baby brother is undeniable. Seeing her shower him with affection by nuzzling her face into him simply melts my heart. Letting your toddler help out not only fosters sibling bonds but also makes them feel important and included.
Divide and Conquer
With 2 under 2, we need a game plan for everything. The division of duties seemed like the best approach. My husband takes care of our toddler—diaper changes, bedtime stories, baths, you name it. As for me, I handle all things related to the baby. It’s not always smooth sailing, but it works for us. We’ve divvied up the housework as well. Good teamwork with your spouse is truly key during this time. Trust me, you’ll find your rhythm—it just takes a little trial and error.”
Perpetual Messiness
I used to hustle around, trying to tidy up after every toddler tornado, but then baby #2 arrived and it was like juggling while riding a unicycle. I look at the mess, and I just don’t have the energy for it every day. Once in a while, I’ll clean them up. And I feel great about it. Most of the time, our family room is filled with toys.
I have different ideas of how to organize them and shuffle different toys every week. I just never had the energy to implement them. But you know what, it isn’t the end of the world. This phase won’t last forever. Our home is full of life, love, and yes, a fair bit of chaos – but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. For now, just try to carve out little havens of order where you can, and let the rest go. Save your limited energy for your little ones. You’ll never regret this.
Invest In Some Gear to Make Your Life Easier
I bought the Elvie Pump for baby number two. This helped me a ton! Now, imagine being able to pump while simultaneously chasing after your toddler. Quite the multitasking, right? With 2 under 2, every minute counts, and sitting for 20 minutes just to pump isn’t always feasible. There’s a range of wearable pumps out there to suit different budgets and most insurances will cover at least a chunk of the cost.
I also bought a nursing cover – Cocoon. It’s very easy to use and stylish. It might be a bit on the pricey side, but it’s been worth every penny. It lets me breastfeed anytime, anywhere, meaning I don’t have to put my toddler’s activities on hold. We went to nature centers, playgrounds, parks, libraries… with my baby. It’s a win-win really.
Ask for and Accept lots of Help
In my journey of letting go, I welcomed the idea of asking for help, and the idea of accepting help. Whether it’s professional help or assistance from family and friends, I strongly suggest considering it if you have 2 under 2. The saying “it takes a village to raise a child” has never resonated more.
We had friends cook a couple of meals for us. My mother-in-law took our toddler to a playgroup once a week. My mom is staying with us to give us a hand when we needed it. My co-worker gave Uber Eats gift card…
These help gave us room to breathe and kept me sane. It’s not about being weak or less of a parent; it’s about embracing the community that surrounds you. Those people actually really enjoyed helping us!
Outdoor is the Secrete Of Happiness for Everyone
I think this is true with 1 child or 2 or more. Everything is easier when it’s outdoors with kids. It burns your toddler’s energy. It keeps them occupied and happy. Their nap time and bedtime become easier too.
Exposing your baby to the outdoors helps regulate her sleep as well. She will learn the difference between day and night. The sunlight helps to develop melatonin which helps with her sleep too.
Being on the outside makes you happy too! It helps to destress yourself! Everyone is happy being outside!
Wrapping Up
Having 2 under 2 is HARD! But I would never trade it with anything else. It’s an adventure that’s worth every chaotic, sleep-deprived moment. Every day is a whirlwind of diapers, feedings, tantrums, and playtime – but amidst all the chaos, there’s an abundance of pure, heart-melting love. You’ll see the first glimpse of sibling love, witness your toddler grow in new, wonderful ways, and welcome the joy of another little one’s laughter filling your home.
It’s messy and hard, yes, but it’s beautifully rewarding too. And remember, it’s just a phase, one that will pass quicker than you think. Embrace the mayhem, accept help, and remember to sneak in some laughs along the way. This unique season of life doesn’t come with a playbook, but it does come with a promise: it’s a journey that’ll leave your heart fuller than ever. So strap in, keep your sense of humor close, and enjoy the wild, wonderful ride that is life with 2 under 2.
